Guarding Your Eye and Ear Gates

It may sound like "Christianese," but describing your eyes and ears as gates to be guarded is actually an excellent analogy from a Biblical perspective. In the Old Testament, a particular blessing often recurs in conjunction with changing events: “may you possess the gates of your enemies.” God first told Abraham that his descendants would possess the gates of the enemies in Genesis 22:17, after Abraham passed the test of laying Isaac on the altar. When Rebekah departs her homeland to marry Isaac, her family proclaims, “And may your descendants possess the gates of those who hate them” (Genesis 24:60).

       The gates of a city were the entrances and exits between the protective walls. They were also the place where the elders gathered, business deals were made, and justice was done. Whoever controlled the gate controlled the judicial, economic, political, and social activities of the city. To possess the gates of your enemies, then, means that you have control over them. You conquer them, and they cannot make a move without your knowing it.

Similarly, what we repeatedly take in through our eyes and ears determines the state of our hearts, which affects everything we say, do, and think. Solomon writes in Proverbs 4:23, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." If the stimuli you take in through your ears and eyes is full of fear, anxiety, bitterness, wrath, lust, and ungodly living, you will begin to think and operate from the wrong heart posture as your inner character changes for the worse. "For as [a man] thinks in his heart, so is he" (Proverbs 23:7). In effect, by permitting things that are not good for you to traipse through the gates of your ears and eyes on a regular basis, you are laying the groundwork for an enemy invasion. Without warning, you may find yourself incapacitated when disaster strikes, because you are more practiced in listening to yourself, the enemy, and his agents, than you are at tuning in to the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit.

Just as an invaded heart can render you less effective for God's kingdom and rob you of some of the abundant life Jesus sacrificed Himself to give you, a protected heart that "sets its mind on things above" equips you to do mighty things for the kingdom of God and enjoy abundant life and peace in Christ (Colossians 3:2). If you are submitted to God, then your heart belongs to Him, and should be treated that way--with kindness, respect, and protection.

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but here are a few practical ways to guard your ears and eyes without falling into legalism. Not everyone experiences the same level of sensitivity when exposed to the same stimuli. Some people are wired to be able to handle things more or less easily because of the assignments God has designed them to complete. Always check everything by the Word of God and listen for the prompting, comfort, and conviction of the Holy Spirit as you go:

Read Song Lyrics Out Loud

A very good friend who is also a wise mama started having her children read the lyrics of the songs they loved out loud in front of her. No beat. No melody. Just the words. Without the excuse of "I don't listen to the words, I just like the beat," they are better able to discern whether or not a song is good for them. Their reactions are reportedly hilarious. As they read the lyrics of songs that would assail their hearts, their eyes get big, they laugh uncomfortably, and decry the destructive messages as they come to grips with what is really being sung over them, and what they have sung over themselves in agreement.

It really is amazing what we will agree with because of how cleverly or movingly it's presented. As you read the words of the songs you love, think about whether or not God would speak to you that way, or be pleased to hear you say those things over others. The more you spend time in His word, the better you will know God's character and what matches it. Paul gives us a good litmus test in Philippians 4:8:

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

This isn't telling you to pretend nothing is wrong, or that you won't experience hard emotions that need to be dealt with. But if the song deals with these issues and presents God as the answer, even though the pain is not perfectly gone by the end, then it's actually following the tradition that David and Asaph set forth in the Psalms. David's writing was often passionate and violent, but he always switched gears after expressing himself to the Lord, and chose to remember His goodness and mercy. Asaph did this as well. Their attitude was that circumstances and people may fail you, but God never will.

"And I said, 'This is my anguish;

But I will remember the years of the right hand of the Most High" (Psalm 77:10).

We have an entire book of the Bible dedicated to processing the joys, sorrows, and frustrations of being human in song before the Lord. We also have one that describes a monogamous, marital relationship in tender and graphic metaphorical detail. God created love and marriage, sex and intimacy. They are good things when awakened at the right time, and songs that celebrate God's best plan for them are often good, too. Invite the Holy Spirit into your music catalogue. Let Him highlight the things that glorify the covenant God made between Himself, a husband, and a wife. If one party in the song is being objectified and debased, that's not it. A song where a significant other is being celebrated and cherished but not worshiped? Absolutely! Just use your God-given discernment.

The lyrics of the songs you listen you help shape the way you view and treat yourself and others, for better or for worse, and sometimes, you need the Lord to really hammer it home for you before you derail your life with what you're singing along to every day.

I am a "words" person, and therefore generally get drawn to a song because of it's lyrics, but I was shocked a few years ago to discover that many of the songs I loved and used to process heavy emotions were laced with verbal witchcraft.

The lyrics were encouraging me to cut down or distance myself from some of the people closest to me, whom I'm supposed to love and steward well, including my husband. The bad decisions made during that time were my own. I've taken full responsibility for them, and they are covered by the Blood of Jesus and cannot be used against me anymore. But at the time, I was using those songs and the messages in them to justify my sinful actions and bolster my unrighteous resolve, because they made me feel like someone understood me when no one else did. Little grains of truth in my life--things that actually were broken and needed to be addressed with God--were magnified by those songs. Agreeing with the words negatively affected how I thought and behaved toward those closest to me. Instead of coming to God with what was wrong, I kept trying to find answers on my own, not realizing that I was building my own prison, basing the foundation on the philosophy presented to me musically. After things had gotten very destructive, and the Holy Spirit convicted me about what was going on, I deleted all of that artist's music from my phone, broke the CDs and threw them in the trash. Afterward, God brought deeper redemption into the relationships I had damaged. Which leads me to the next point...

Assess Your Treatment of Yourself & Others After Exposure

Begin to pay attention to the interactions you have with others after taking in a particular stimulus. Having a reaction to what you read, hear, and see is natural. These questions are designed to help you pay attention to the nature of your reaction.

• Do you pick fights with your spouse/significant other after reading a book filled with characters who are male chauvinists or misogynists?

• Are you appreciative or critical toward your spouse/significant other after reading about or watching an admirable, leading male character?

• How often do you shun or argue with family members after watching a show about painful family dynamics?

• Do you begin acting out the things you read and see? For example, rationing items and exhibiting fearful tendencies while reading something set during World War II; being more helpful to others after watching a heroic movie; becoming suspicious of decent people in your life while reading or watching murder mysteries?

• Do you feel paralyzed with fear or seethe with helpless anger after watching certain news outlets?

• Do you have less regard for human life on the road while driving your car after watching certain action movies?

• Do you find yourself coveting or shopping more often after watching a show that elevates a particular aesthetic or lifestyle?

• Are you depressed for hours or days after listening to, reading, or watching sad things?

• How do you verbally express yourself after listening to your music or watching certain shows? (For example, even though I love Kevin Costner projects, I personally can't watch Yellowstone, because my mouth will start sounding a lot like Beth Dutton's.)

• Does your mood change dramatically, for better or for worse, based on which songs you've heard that day? How do you respond to the people around you afterward?

• Do you find yourself frequently objectifying others, or easily excusing unrighteous violence, based on how normal it is in the media you consume?

Not everyone has the same level of sensitivity, but if you find yourself reacting in spiritually destructive ways, it may be time to reevaluate your intake. What we watch, read, and listen to should encourage us to "...be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you" (Ephesians 4:32). It should also spur us to

"Open [our mouths] for the speechless,

In the cause of all who are appointed to die.

Open [our mouths], judge righteously,

And plead the cause of the poor and needy" (Proverbs 31:8-9).

Dehumanization, isolation, and fear are not supposed to be our modus operandi. "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7). Consuming things through our eyes and ears that make us fearful damages our discernment and scrambles our ability to communicate clearly with the Holy Spirit.

We know that "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit" (Proverbs 18:21). We should be speaking life to one another, not cutting each other down with words of death. Save that for praying against the schemes of the enemy. Speaking life looks like "speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord" (Ephesians 5:19).

"But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks" (Ephesians 5:3-4).

Godly content can be just as effective in shaping your behavior and thought life. Even something that doesn't directly call itself Christian may reflect God's heart for human relationships. For a while, I was watching a particular show that I eventually gave up on, because I felt it was trapped in a cycle of "niceness," but it featured a community of people who prayed to God, loved their neighbors, and stepped up to help people, even when they had been completely rotten to everyone in town for an entire season. I found myself imitating their actions after clicking off the TV, looking past myself to see who in my immediate sphere needed help in big and small ways, and meeting those needs the best I could. Additionally I was quicker to pray for difficult people, knowing that I couldn't change their hearts, but God could, and that living in peace and unity with them as far as it depended on me was the main requirement.

To be clear, this is not a call to only consume "Christian" media. Again, Not everything that calls itself "Christian" is Christlike--or even good quality--and many things that are not blatantly labelled "Christian" do, in fact, glorify God and His best plans for human relationships. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring any problem areas to your attention, and confirm them in scripture, so that you know what to keep and what to toss.

The Company You Keep

Ordinarily, this phrase applies to evaluating your friendships. I would like to apply it to our relationships with fictional characters. These are people you choose to spend time reading about and watching during your downtime. Studies have shown that the same parts of your brain which are active in social cognition and empathy in relationships with others are also active when consuming a story through books, films, and shows. Your mind and emotions respond to fictional people as if they were real. That being the case, the fictional people in your life should come under God's jurisdiction as well.

Story is a place to process life, human relationships, triumphs, catastrophic events, and to wrestle with identity and purpose. There are so many stories of people who do this well. They may stumble and fall, and face the consequences, but they don't choose to set up camp in the pit of despair. As you watch or read about them, you may be encouraged and take healthy tips back with you to apply in your own relationships with real people.

People are imperfect. Even fictional people. No one is going to get it right all the time. But there is a stark contrast between a humble character who falls and is not utterly cast down, and one who lives like they are a god unto themself, leaving destruction in their wake. If the characters you read about and watch are generally rotten human beings, consistently making morally destructive decisions with no repercussions, or are praised for being terrible, why are you spending time with them? The more normal this behavior becomes to you, the more likely you are to imitate it, or at the very least, condone it.

And that can damage your witness as a child of God if left unchecked.

"Walk as children of light (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), finding out what is acceptable to the Lord. And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them" (Ephesians 5:8-11).

Some thought provoking questions to ask yourself about the content you read and watch are:

• Who or what is being glorified?

• Do Christlike character elements generally come to the forefront as praiseworthy, or are we taught to ridicule those traits and belittle those who possess them?

• Are the main characters consistently selfish or selfless?

• Do the characters we're meant to admire choose to learn from their mistakes and grow into better people, or do they always do what is right in their own eyes and never suffer consequences?

Again, these are not hard and fast rules, but practical suggestions to get you thinking more deeply about the kind of content you take in, and how it affects your relationship with God, your relationships with and witness to others, and your inner life. What you allow to pass through the gates of your eyes and ears affects your heart, and consequently, everything else. If the Lord brings some things to mind that crowd Him out of your heart or make it more difficult for you to communicate with each other, follow the conviction of the Holy Spirit, and remove them. It may hurt at first, but it will be worth it. Also, don't just sweep the house clean and leave it empty. Ask the Lord to fill the vacancy with more of Himself. I can tell you from personal experience that He is faithful to do this.